This is Mental Fitness Fridays. 

Want better reffing? 

Shut up. 

Yelling doesn’t help. I’ve never seen a call changed because of it. It doesn’t work because it activates the fight-or-flight response, making it harder for refs to do their job.

Why do we do it?

It creates a false sense of safety. We’re "protecting" our kids from getting screwed and need someone or something to blame. 

Overreacting, swearing, raging, and bullying isn't normal. 

Following a a 16-year-old ref home starts with that need to blame.

When I’ve worked those who want to change how they react to refs, most identify past hurts get triggered. My wife made sure I changed when my son was born. I committed to a higher purpose: my kid, my faith, the legacy of Hobey Baker, and my clients.

I decided to shut up. 

It was tough at first. I had to address the hurts driving them, change my mindset. In my job, as I built relationships across different programs, it became easier. It’s hard to dehumanize your friends. 

Responsibility means knowing that careless words can rip open hurts we can’t see. When you want to scream at refs— shut up. You’ll change the conversation.

Want to keep changing the conversation to mental fitness? Hire us to do a keynote for your organization.