This is Mental Fitness Fridays.

Last week got me thinking about a book written by Cale and Taylor Makar's dad Gary titled,  ‘What are you doing and why are you doing it?’

I met Gary through the Hobey Baker Award and we have since developed a friendship. In fact, he asked me to write a chapter for the new version of his book.

We don’t ask ourselves enough,  “What are you doing and why?”

A college athlete asked me, what do I do when my coach and teammates get mad at me for doing homework on the bus after a loss? 

I thought of Gary’s question, did you ask why? 

She said, "They say I don't care if I get it over it that fast.”

I hear the mental toughness traps.  Hold onto it.  Beat yourself with disappointment, misery. 

What are you doing and why? 

No talking on the bus if you lose? 

No doing homework?

Getting mad if they rebound quickly? 

Sit in silence. shame?

Punish to get better?

If you're a coach, do you ask Gary's question?   If not, you may be missing out on something important. A different approach that may lead to learning in a more effective way. Gary’s approach seems to have worked with his sons, Cale and Taylor.

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