Recently my friend Lisa let me know her sister, Betsy — who I dated for three and a half years in college — was going to pass away from a stroke. I hadn’t talked to Betsy in 25 years, but I felt sad.

At her memorial, I learned she lived her values, spending years serving people experiencing homelessness, and building a life of helping others. I went to honor Betsy, her family, and the impact she had on my life. She was kind, patient, driven, nurturing, and smart. She was God’s kid and she saw others that way.

That day I recognized faces, but couldn’t place names. One of her college roommates said, “You’re Hans — we went to Springsteen together. I knew it was you when I heard your voice.”

Looks change. Hair grays. But people remember your voice — and how what you say makes them feel. Your voice gives vision to your values and your legacy.

Use it wisely: in person, online, and on your teams.
When someone hears your voice, do you want them to remember that you called them a name, or that you were warm and saw them as human?

Mental fitness is learning to use that voice responsibly — with others and with yourself.

To Pam, Wayne, Lisa, Andy, Britt, and Erik, and to her partner Vaughn — my thoughts are with you.

And thank you, Betsy, for all you taught me.

Rest in peace.